| When They Say | ... | They Really Mean |
|---|
| Old world charm | ... | Room and a path |
| Tropical | ... | Rainy |
| Majestic setting | ... | A long way from town, at end of dirt road |
| Options galore | ... | Nothing is included in the itinerary |
| Secluded hideaway | ... | Directions to locate unclear |
| Some budget rooms | ... | Sorry, already occupied |
| Explore on your own | ... | At your own expense |
| Knowledgeable trip hosts | ... | They've flown in an airplane before |
| No extra fees | ... | No extras |
| Nominal fee | ... | Outrageous charge |
| Standard | ... | Sub-standard |
| Deluxe | ... | Barely Standard |
| Superior accomodations | ... | One complimentary chocolate, free shower cap |
| All the amenities | ... | Two chocolates, two shower caps |
| Plush | ... | Both top and bottom sheets, bed shakes |
| Gentle breezes | ... | In hurricane alley |
| Light and airy | ... | No air conditioning |
| Picturesque | ... | Theme park nearby |
| 24-hour bar | ... | Ice cubes at additional cost (when available) |
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